[ I counter-offered you ]

I skipped squash again,today! BUT WAIT! It's because they need people with rackets, already! I'm going to get one though!Like really really soon!(:

TODAY'S THE LAST DAY OF SCHOOL! I screwed two modules, but that's okay, NOT, but oh well, shrugs. Met babygirlfriends who came super duper bloody late (haha) at far east, today. Initially, I was just going to get something for babygirl, but ended up indulging myself with shopping. I bought a transparent white, AND

This & that! & some other small stuffs. All in all, I spent 1/3 of my allowance. Damn uncool, but hey, I'm thrilled ! :D

Manager said that I'll start working on monday, FULL SHIFT!My very first, damn it.Hogs breath never ever let me to experience my first full shift, like ever.So, this would be cool, I guess, very cool. Managed to drop by workplace just now, Man, they look tough :/. Everything would be okay, though *cross fingers.

Saw DB eyecandy in the morning! Man man man man, he's so hot I don't even mind flunking the law paper! Ilike bumping to old mates! Few weeks ago, I bumped to bernice, and today, I bumped to adith! &If I probably bump to any of you, I'd probably scream and hug you all the same.(:

[ There are nights that I'd die for you, baby ]

I've forgotten how time and mind consuming hula-hooping can be, until last night when I decided to hoop while reading my notes for an hour. Practised chinese with sister in the morning, two pages of convo already made my brain go haywire, and it's funny how pages and pages of BMA still makes me feel humane. See? I'm not rooted at all, very bad. I'm saving my rainbow-sprinkled donut for later. Okay, I think I should start studying BMA, like right now.

BACK HOME!

Chinese oral was piece of nut! hahaha. Everyone passed, &&&&& there's actually this cute guy inside my class! He's like the malay version of babygirl's bf! When I was buying chicken rice, I was telling meme about my neihgbour while turning my head behind, DB eyecandy was there! OMG, & I was like staring at him for a good 30-second because I thought he was my group leader and I almost said hello to him, until I realised he was DB eyecandy. Then he turned away. Crap! I hope I can see him tomorrow, if not, I'll have to last 3 weeks not having a chance to see him. ( hahaha)

Hung around with meme and fadli while waiting for khidhir. They're so funnny! hahaha. The bitchy partner, lol.Went home with khidhir! Was waiting for baby girlfriends but decided to head home because I have lots to do. &&& chatted with BS eyecandy though didn't get to see 04 eyecandy! HAHAHAHA. I have a lot of eyecandies. shrugs. I'll go study law, now!

Shopping before squash tomorrow! YES! :D

[ and, I don't think it's clever ]

Since when my blog turned to something that could be emotionally disturbing? Hence the deleted posts.

Went out at ten to study at mac, because home is never a condusive place to study, thinking of squash training at three. I even brought my shoes along with time frame set for each topics.Halfway through, smsed Grace asking if she's going and she said " nope, not this time ", & the primary kids are making a hell of noise playing pokers, so here I am. haha. I'm home with rainbow donut and eggtart in hand because rainbow-sprinkled donut always always makes me happy and fat, eggtart is just cool. (:

My neighbour talked to me after four years because he saw the potential of sharing cab fee with me when we go clubbing, but he was shit disappointed when I told him I don't go clubbing. But I'm useful for late-night jogs and in locked-out situations.Having chinese oral tomorrow, maybe I could ask him to teach me.HAHA.

[ Hollywood is not America ]



ECT&P was not a no-kick test, then again, I gave my best shot in staying awake and keeping my vein intact when it felt like it's gon' pop any time. Just hope for the best, I guess.



I love shopping, D'you know? Like lately, I've been buying a lot of stuffs due to the great singapore sale. Like a lot a lot. I want a pair of pink gladiator sandals, too. & a new bag because meme's new transparent bag is sex cute. I want a jacket, too. That's settle then, Shopping with any girlfriends, soon! You, yes you! Let's go shopping when you get your allowance, alright! ( Goes to any mighty one )

Going to study for Building science in a minute because I just got home. Met baby girl at dhobby ghaut, just now & shopped. song bo. Therefore, I'm going to study super hard for my Building science, BMA and LAW because I pretty much screwed my ECT&P. shrugs.

toodles!

[ there are words that are better left unspoken ]

Church was okay. I didn't get the father but still, I managed to catch " lives that are holy and hearts that are true ". Be true, get real.

Dated the girls yesterday. We were supposed to meet at five because the performance was not to start until late afternoon but I never could stand studying at home, so I went to starbucks to study. Window shopped with Dionne because I could not stand studying there, anymore, too. haha. Made our way to wheelock place and checked out the performance. The lead singer was soooo cute ! man man man! hahahaha. Trust me, he's so attractive you would not even try to stop googling him. hee. Then afterwards, went around far east for a while. Decided to stay over at haileys place because home had become somewhere where I have to behave lately. Home's invaded. shrugs.

I need to start going on a strict diet which been postponing since first week of sch! Later.

[ This ain't a love song, you dick ]

Good morning world.

Whoever says that poly would be a playground should come here and kiss my ass. Bloody hell. Everyday I'd get home so tired and shagged, all I yearn of in the train is a shower plus a sleep. The studies is not so much a fucking walk in the park, too, you asshole. I was going to break down if it was not for yiling and anisah, and syamil. This ain't dope, man. At the minute my POA paper ended, I was fucking sure I would not have to study, like ever again, that hard. Look where I'm standing, now. Closer to where I started.

Anyhoo, I'm going to work at schu this term break, at wisma. I hope the people there are nice, because it is never much about the pay, it's about finding the kind of people I'd like to spend my time with. Nintendo ds or PSP is what I aim for, of course after my camera. woah, can't bloody wait. I'll ensure I'll not buy sanyo. ha ha.

Going to watch movie with darlings, today. & then go back to school to play squash because I told grace I am coming. It's okay lah, it's good to be active in a way, anyway.

What I need?

I need myself to start looking at the right side. Life is not something to be mourn about, it's a gift to be cherished. People come and go & that's just fo' sure, my shizzle. As long as you've done your part in trying to make them stay, there's nothing wrong with being left. Because you know you need no stress for you deserve the best. one gone, thousands came. smile

Squash training makes me happy.

I'm exhausted

[ If I'm not back again .. carry on, carry on ]

I remembered how I was wide awake at wee hours thinking what had I done you wrong, how you done me wrong & still reach no conclusion even when the sound of the early birds came to life. It was something so fake, yet beautiful, no? Like when you held me together in rough times ,or when I twisted my fingers around yours and felt like there's nothing I can worry about because I was yours.

It's been long, hasn't it ? You found yourself someone new to hold on to. But hey, I told you. I'll awalys be here because you're always be my baby. I miss you so much, each hour every night I wish we would had done a better job so I can still call you up at nights and tell you about all everything and nothing. Some things, they just happen I guess.

[ I'm diggin this american boy ]

Hello musketeers! You know how my life has been untiringly always on the go aimlessly, & well, guess what. Despite of all that, looking at the flip side , everything is so wonderfully perfect down there.

I can't wait to dye my hair after term break, & I'll be working with meme and atiqa during term break. I am psyched to see what's the amount in my bank at the end of this year. I can't even wait to sit for the term test papers. I can't wait to buy my own racket, squash shoes and camera. & my brothers are going to just linger in jakarta, which means that I could see them whenever I'm free, and so could they. & everything, really. I'm super psyched.

[ I'm not gon write to you .. ]

Hello bunnies, how you doing ?

Life has not exactly been a walk in the park, lately. Lots of things are happening at one time , and I'm seriously bad in juggling. But I'll try to keep healthy and good. Besides, people say that, the rough times in your life would be the best times in your life. Yeah, man.

I decided not to join rock climbing because the camp already turned me off. Followed mumbai for squash training, and I got in ( I'm bowing, and you're clapping ). So, I guess you'll see me walking around the school with shoe bag and a racket. Pretty amazing, huh. I used to even loathe badminton. & I got myself an eye-candy. I tried to chill but he's so hot that I melted. Next time we bump, I'll make an effort to smile instead of looking away.

Sarah stayed over the other day, & she gave me a shock of my life when I saw what she'd done to my face. LOL. && I really don't want to waste my time on someone who's so indesicive and contradicting as you. Dude, I got a shapely thing inside my body called a heart yo'. If you don't know what it is, it's something that hurts when you toy me around. You people, are just the same.

Met the girls yesterday. kecoh sia. hahahaha. It's always fun with them around, how I wish, like really really really wishing, there are people like them in school. But that's just say it, doesn't it? everyone's different from another. Moving on, I got my mum a dress from moschino which I regretted buying, but the keeper said I could change if it doesn't fit. & I got myself 3 pairs of shoes, too!

Mummy's birthday today! off to fetch her.

[ Tonight is the nigth you're going to fall for me]

Good morning, sisters. Man. I have not been studying lately. How could I ? Every day I would reach home at least from 7 onwards. I'll do my drawing homework /presentations which usually would be due by the next day. By the time I'm done, I'd probably would feel super shagged. shrugs.

IRON MAN IS SO GODDAMNED COOL, can? I wish my boyfriend is ironman. man man man! MAN. This is so way better than transformers, dude. Freaking cool, my shizzle, freaking. & then, we went ahead to have chocolate fondue! my first!

Today would be super busy. School ends at three, after that I'll have to go and get my tuition grant agreement paper. Let's not forget chinese till 7.30. I was going to skip today, because seriously, term test is coming and I'm having 3 days of camp from tomorrow, which I'm extremely excited for by the way. Then again, was it the same girl who's whining now that wanted her schedule to be damned pack ? & I was even thinking of going back to work. Man, this feels great. Having a life fulls of things that are rellevant. & soon, I'd be busy with rock climbing, too. cool.

Stare somemore lah. stare stare stare. Why don't you burn my face, too, while you're at it ? Bloody hell. What, you think it's your grandfather's freaking premises? You and your fellow musketeers should really really really fucking be dead in your bloody pride. Stare lah, stare somemore. I dig your eyes, then you know. Bloody hell.

Over again.

I'm tired of always falling at wrong times and for wrong people. & just when I thought that I was getting the right one .. You just have to go, don't you? Story of my life. Just when everything is going so perfectly smooth, a hindrance would show up that is as good as having the whole world come crushing down on me. Guess what the hindrance is.

Me.
If one day, one day God does create a chance for me to bump to you, I would smile & be grateful about it. I'd be grateful that I was with you. that I know you. You, the best damned thing since Eminem. & I'd keep on walking, for I know you're not there for me to own. Somebody better is who you destined to be, and till then, just know that I'll miss you. smile.

[ Another summer day .. ]

Yo. Have you felt wronged? But, instead of feeling angry about it, you're actually playing along in the game. I have.

The truth slaps like a motherfucking shit, but still at the end of the day, truth always be the one that matters. If it was not for truth, our lives would probably are just one big dump of big fat lies. Truth is the one that lifts you up so it could bring you down at a later part of your life. For all my life, I've been getting real. I got over the worst heartbroken of a brief romance, stepped on my fear by telling hurtful, yet true, words to my mum ... Basically, I got super real just to be where I am today. If I were to count buckets of tears I've cried when I came out real, Singapore would probably drown.

This time, though, I don't want to. I want to live in a make-believe where everything is alright. Where I got food served everyday on the table, and I get to wear pretty clothes and still can afford to not listen in classes. Because this time ... It's too bizzarely insane for me to swallow. All the strugglings I never get to see, all the tears and angst. Let me laugh my day away; for I'm young; young & naive.

Feels like theres a big rock inside my throat. We're living in a world full of possibilities;

[ I miss you, and that's not the thing ]

It's fridayyyy! which means, tomorrow would be Saturday! I was going to crumble because that would just mean I would have to last myself with no laughters for the next two days, BUT nisa and yiling are coming tomorrow to do project! jumps.

Poly life is getting hectic. Alright, I'm a full-time student taking rock climbing and photography and is learning chinese, plus I'm thinking of going back to Hogs if shauns would take me. You caught that ? Let me repeat. My schedule is getting awfully packed, and I actually am liking the sound of being occupied with them all. I remembered a friend saying that these times would be the life-changing moments in my life. I guess they are. For the past four years, I had been living and breathing without being bothered with such activities. I even loathed the idea of joining a cca. I would not talk in class, and my sense of humor was so whacked that you would think Im the driest person you'd ever meet. DUDE! look at me now. Look who's laughing, motherrockers.

I remembered crying over some stupid fuckhole who shouted to the damned bastard that I was ugly. Looking back, I could not understand why. He's not exactly the one human who has the best face structure. Then again, maybe it's over the fact that the damned ass didn't stand up and actually tell him to screw off. shrugs. I told you. There are just so many things that made up the big lump in my chest.

[ this motherfucker assault me ]

I think you're such a motherfucking boot-licking idiotic pussy. God, I hate you. Even just the sight of you breathing or the sound of you laughing that witchy laughs, makes me want to eat the table up so I would choke and end up blocking all my five senses. Because you're a sore to the eye. You're like the virus that nobody knows, yet exists and is around them. Man, I hate you. You and your goddamned soul. I hope you die in your oblivion. Oh man, fuck you, alright.

[ It's alright if you had to go ]

29th April
I'm desperately in need to brush up my english. I had two presentations today, & I did not speak any good english in any of the two presentations. This is shit bad. I rarely use a sentence without any malay/chinese/hokkien word in it. If I can't act/look smart, at least I shall talk smart, instead of talking no sense most of the times. & I hate it when people think that they're superior than they actually are. Christ. You're in year two & you think you're all that huh? Please. Your gpa is smaller than my nail & in oops, you're in. I'd wager you're a damned loner who acts like a fucking emo and think that everybody would like to be your friends. If you think I'm stupid, take a look at the mirror and look who's the most pathetic person in the whole wide world. I think your life is a big fat liar. Maybe, you shouldn't even exist in the first place. But, who am I to decide.

30th April
We skipped the first hour of Design and drawing for mcdonald. & I wasted the entire lesson, trying to find a damned triangular scale ruler. Which, by the way, turned out to bea stupid ruler that comes from Japan. So, morning lesson was a piece of shitty crap. I blame mumbai for being flirtable, or the whole process would be an hour earlier. shrugs.Building materials lesson was the shiznit! It's hard to stay focused in class, yet it only would take me a snap to drift away and daydream. But, I'll make an effort to stay inside the room next week onwards! & It feels crazily nice to actually help and being helped! It has its own satisfaction to wake aidil up and tell him not to sleep, and vice versa, to have nisa tap me time and again to make sure I'm still in the room.Went queensway after school to look around for my stupid green hi-cut, which was to no avail. Because it was so last season that no one is producing or selling them anymore. Even if they do, they would not have my size. So we searched high and low for the right, and ended up with a printed levis hi-top instead, which was bargained by darling nisa, AND haivannas look-alike gold-strapped flip flop. LOL. Chilled at mcd ! I could eat all the mcspicy meal in the world if you give me them all. went to ikea with nisa while yiling went home.

1st may (!)
Happy labour day, everybody! Went to bugis and bought truckloads of stuffs! 4 tops, and one electric blue high-waisted short. & all those in 3 hours! I'm the shit, man. LOL. lunched at bugis food junction. The place is super cool and nice! It's like the best foodcourt with good design and service I've ever been to. smile. Had cappucino float while highlighting my notes. It was a hot hot hot day outside. It was hell when we waited for 80 to come, but we survived!

Going to meet dilah darling tomorrow! & watson, too! PLUS, lunch with ahkong! woots! tomorrow wold be a happy day! :D &&&& Nisa and yiling are coming to my house on saturday! YIIPPEE!